I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
