I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
