so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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