I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
