Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
