using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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