Moan for me like Helen Keller
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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