if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
BRING THE BAGELS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize