I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
