i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
