my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
