I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
