He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
