I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
