so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
