then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
