new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
