No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
