Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
