2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
