Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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