my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
