are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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