Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
