i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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