so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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