my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
