Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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