is wine microwaveable?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
