Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Still dying that you shit outside
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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