Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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