they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
