the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
