I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
