just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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