And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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