We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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