Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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