You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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