My friends, they love my intelligence
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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