I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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