You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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