so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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