Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
