Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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