Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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