he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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