woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i believe in u and ur pee
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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