If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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