Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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